THE STORY OF US

10:33 PM

This is someone very special to me. 



His name is Tim.
He goes by bae, babe, baby and piece of shit too.
What else can I say? Well, he means the world to me. Scrap that, the galaxy.


A few of you have requested for me to blog about how I met Tim. I've been wanting to do so for the past 1.5 years already but I have always hesitated, thinking whether I want to keep it private between us or let people know the story of us, whether Tim would appreciate me putting it up on the World Wide Web. It's quite a story, the way we met and got together. So for the past year I've kept it to myself, only telling people who ask me directly. A few days ago Tim and I were having a conversation via Whatsapp which mostly consisted of me excitedly telling him of all the blog content I have planned out. 

"You have a great blog baby. Maybe you can blog about us, and how we found our happiness."

If that isn't a green light I don't know what is.


The Prequel
Out of all places to bump into your future girlfriend -- at a CD shop in a mall. You can't get as cheesy, rom-com as this. According to him, he saw me when I was buying tickets for Swedish House Mafia in January 2013 and recognized me as a friend of Shaun's, a mutual friend of ours. I don't remember seeing him as there were quite a few people in the CD shop but he remembered where I was standing and what I was doing. Then he never heard from me again.

Fast forward to early September 2013, I had just got to know a guy Sathya and we were talking quite frequently on Skype, who I later found out was another mutual friend of ours as well! Tim got to know that Sathya and I were friends, and told him that he found me pretty. One night during a casual Skype call, I heard Sathya utter "Eh, my friend thinks you're pretty." Immediately I replied, "Who's your friend?" "Tim Chen." "Who the **** is that?" and after that I never gave it much thought anymore. I'll never forget what I said and till this day Tim and I still laugh about it. 


Late October 2013, Shaun and I were talking about horror movies together and we were just about to go catch Insidious 2, but Shaun pulled out his phone and suggested to bring his friend along. "Who's your friend?" "Tim Chen." "What??? Why does his name sound familiar?" And then as all Gen-Y's do, we both stalked him on Instagram. I noted that he still had a photo with his ex at that time and I asked Shaun about it but he brushed it off saying they'd broken up already. "Hey, this guy is pretty cute actually!" I said aloud as we both went through his photos. Close to an hour later, Shaun told Tim that I found him cute and according to Tim, he couldn't believe it.  Fate is a cliched word, but how can someone move across the continent from Penang to KL to Vietnam to Singapore and back to Malaysia, only to end up 5 minutes away from my house? I still find it mindblowing. They say curiosity killed the cat, but in my case, curiosity got me a boyfriend.

During
Being a tech-savvy generation whose lives revolve around social media and electronics, I don't think I've heard anyone my age meeting their partners in the rustic, romantic way that our parents and grandparents did. Heck, my grandfather even eloped and escaped an arranged engagement to marry my grandmother! It all started with a "follow" on Twitter. I didn't even realize that he'd followed me so it took almost 2 days for me to follow him back. Tim said he thought I wasn't interested, but I actually hadn't noticed. Being the ballsy yolo daredevil that he is (no, not really), he striked up a conversation with me on Twitter then swiftly took it to direct message. Not bad, Tim Chen. By the way, I went to stalk him on Instagram, and I noticed that he had deleted the photo with his ex before following me. Found that super cute and funny at the same time.



A few weeks later we went on our very first date and I still remember every single detail of the date, we coincidentally wore matching colors -- blue outerwear, white top and black bottoms! During the whole time we were dating I just felt so happy and so loved, I'd never been spoiled like this before and I'd never received flowers from any guy before, not even my ex. We went on dates to Ikea, dates to malls, lunch dates, dinner dates, he got me cookies, Cinnabons, a scented candle that I really wanted and he just really really understood me and was such an interesting person to talk to! We would have late night calls up till 5am just talking about our feelings and thoughts on certain things and random musings as well, so even though I hadn't known him for long I felt like I did.




The more I got to know Tim, the more we had deep talks and conversations till late at night and the more I fell for him -- but there was still a lingering thought at the back of my head: I couldn't deny that I wasn't over my ex of 2 years who broke up with me so carelessly, so I pulled away and tried to remove myself from Tim's life. I wasn't ready for a relationship either at that time, and when I'm in an official relationship I'm serious about it and I wasn't ready to have my heart broken again. I had such a negative view of relationships, and kept telling Tim that I didn't see the point in them, relationships don't last at this age, what's the point of being with someone if you're just gonna break up... Yadda yadda yadda; but the whole time Tim was just being patient while trying to win my heart.


31st December 2013
On the most cliched date of all time -- New Year's Eve, he came over to my place in the morning with a pile of wrapped up thingamajigs, and told me to open one every hour. There were 12 gifts in total, and the last gift was of course, to be opened at 12am. I guess you can kind of fit the pieces from here, so the 1st of January became our anniversary date. At the strike of midnight, I was about to open the last gift when he took it from me, opened it and read it out to me, and it was a letter asking me to be his girlfriend. And the rest was history.



So yes, that's basically the important bits of how we got together and how we met. But our relationship definitely isn't smooth sailing all the time. If you think the prince and the princess lived happily ever after, that's where you're all wrong. Disney forgot to add the part where they fought over little trivial things sometimes and where they had clashes of opinions. 
Over time, I became overly attached and too clingy for my own good, and I was lost in my own mind where my imagination ran wild and I started making up scenarios in my head. Remember the crazy girlfriend meme? Yeah, I could actually relate to some of it because there was a point where I was overreacting and overly sensitive over little things. And 99% of the time, whatever I was overthinking about couldn't be more far from the truth. What a vivid imagination I have huh? I didn't like what I was becoming and I knew I had to change.


Girls if you're ever guilty of this too, which a lot of us are actually, always take a step back to clear your head and calm down, and know that there might be misintepretations and miscommunications as well, but don't ever let that deter you from learning new ways to grow together and new ways to keep your relationship blossoming. This is really hard for me because I always tend to make my own assumptions and come to my own conclusions and just accuse Tim for things that I make up in my head. Even though it's so wrong, I just can't help myself from doing that. My mind just works that way in the sense where I make up something just to justify something else. Yeah you can call me delusional. We went through a really tough patch together just a few months back but managed to pull out of it hand in hand, and now we're happier than ever again.


"So you guys got together 2 months after knowing each other? That's kinda fast right?" Yeah honestly, I do agree that we got together really fast but that was only because we had a mutual attraction and interest towards each other from the very beginning. Only both of you know your relationship inside out and only both of you know if you're comfortable with the pace that you're going at. Ultimately at the end of the day, it's your relationship, not anyone else's. So don't let other people talk you out of your own happiness. Of course your friends might be worried for you but if deep down inside your heart you know that you want to pursue this and make this work then you'll do anything to try to make it happen. "You barely knew him" Correction: we saw each other almost every day and talked on the phone for hours on end very frequently. I just felt like I had known him for such a long time, and truth is: you never stop learning new things about each other. All of us have phases where we like different things and develop interests in new hobbies. Up till today I'm still learning everything there is to know about Tim, I still want to know everything about his childhood, his silly pranks and memories, his little quirks. 


Some people think Tim and I have a perfect relationship. Well let me tell you that no relationship is 100% perfect, including ours. We actually fight over the stupidest things sometimes. Fights and disagreements WILL happen in a relationship especially if both of you have very strong personalities and opinions, and you guys might not always chorus on certain topics, but at the end of the day it's all down to how much you love each other and how much you want to make a relationship work. I'm the kind of person who has to address something if it's bothering me right away whereas Tim can just let small insignificant things slide, so you can imagine the disagreements we have. They usually go like -- Cam: Bla bla bla I don't like it bla bla bla. Tim: ??????? It's such a small thing ???? Yup, so no relationship is without disagreements, even the most like minded of people are bound to have mindset clashes sometimes. Anyway, I digress. Stop trying to change your significant other into your perfect ideal image of them and just accept them the way they are, come to a compromise. If they like blue, they like blue. You can't brainwash them into liking purple. You can only hope one day that they come to realize why you think purple is a better color. Get what I mean? Don't force someone else to change for you or change themselves to the exact mold you want them to be. Everyone would love to be accepted for who they are, not what someone else's idea of them is. If your significant other is completely different from your dream partner and you're constantly trying to make them become your dream partner, just find someone else. It's not nice trying to change other people, it's like asking them to totally give up their identity in lieu for a new one that you created for them. 


Relationships are hard work but trust me, it's all worth it when you see the other person smile, when you hug them and feel like you're home and when you kiss them it all feels so right. When you know you can go to them after a long day with all the troubles in the world and they'll just be there for you, that's when you've found the one. The fun teasing, the road trips in the car with sing along sessions, the inside jokes we have, the new jokes we make, the laughter that never seems to stop when we're doing something silly together, it's all worth it. Nothing makes me more excited than making little gifts and presents for him, thinking about how much he'd love it whilst I'm cutting out photos of us, nothing makes me happier than just cuddling with him and talking about everything that comes to our minds, having half-asleep conversations where we're just talking gibberish.



Honestly speaking, I don't know if Tim and I will make it that long to get married to each other. I don't even know what will happen tomorrow. No one can tell. I just know that when I'm in a relationship with someone, marriage is always the end goal. You only have two options: either get married or break up, and I don't encourage people to get into relationships if they don't see a chance of it lasting. What's the point right? Of getting to know someone, spending your time and money on them and being vulnerable to them just so you can fill up your time? Don't ever date someone with no intentions of a future with them, don't deprive them of the time they have to meet someone else who does want to spend the rest of their lives with them. Well, God willing, we'll be able to spend the rest of our lives together, that's what I really want. We are only 19 and 20, we have a long stretch ahead of us. Who knows if we'll break up tomorrow, or if I get killed tonight? I love the idea of being there for someone through their graduation, through their first job, through all the tribulations and all the blessings. I love being able to simply grow up with someone, and go through everything and be there for them through it all. I'm such a sucker for romantic things oh gosh. I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens!


A relationship isn't two 50%'s making 100%, it should be two 100%'s making 200%. 






I love you,
happy 19 months. 





x

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