11:44 PM

So, we made it to one year!

1 year ago, or to be precise, 1 year and 2 months ago, I met this man here. I was at a really bad point of my life, I wasn't over my ex yet and I literally saw no point in relationships anymore. It was a point of my life that I thought to myself everyday, "Oh, all boys are just the same." "We're too young to last long anyway." "Relationships have a better chance of lasting when you're older." "What's the point if you're just going to break up?"

Basically speaking, I was an extremely negative person at that point of my life. So when I heard of Tim I didn't even want anything close to a relationship with him. I thought we would just flirt for a bit, date for a bit and then it would eventually fizzle out. How wrong I was. 

I was used to playing games in relationships and flirtationships. I used to play the "Who takes longer to text back game", and trust me it isn't nice at all. I kind of fell for a guy who was texting multiple girls at once but made me feel like I was the only one, but Tim doesn't do any of that. Playing games in relationships is stupid. Testing each other is stupid. 

We had late night phone calls till 4am, just talking about the world and our thoughts on things and our feelings. We still do every once in a while because both of us have college & uni now (at that time we were both on holiday) And on one of those nights, I was prepared to call it off already. I literally wanted to end things because I knew this wasn't gonna go anywhere. But he reassured me and spent a lot of time trying to make me see his point of view. One of the things he said to me was, "Even if you're in a relationship later on in life, when you're not a teenager, it won't necessarily work as well. Why do you think so many marriages fail? Aren't they older than us? It's not about how old you are, it's about how you do things. Relationships are what you make out of it."

Every single passing day, I saw how positive he was and how he made life seem so much brighter. How he still manages to take my mind off things by bringing me out for ice cream. How he kisses my sadness away. How he always takes time to spend time with my family and run errands & do favors for my parents. How my parents love him so much and how he's just the type of guy you'd long to introduce to your parents. How when I'm upset or throwing fits he'd patiently calm me down, how when I don't feel like talking to anyone because I'm pissed he'd appear at my doorstep with flowers. How the honeymoon phase is never over for us, how we're still so clingy and in love and giddy over each other, how we always manage to surprise each other. There's so many more things but I'd like to keep them private just because. It's safe to say, I don't have any relationship goals because I already have the best relationship.

Like all couples, of course we fight, we do fight, but it's not about how big the fight gets, it's about how we resolve it, and how fast we get over it and go back to normal. We never ever let each other go to sleep upset. No matter how late it is at night, we'll still call each other to talk about it before we go to sleep and resolve it. I can never sleep well knowing that something's unresolved. We bark like cats and dogs at each other, and sometimes one of us gets too sensitive over something another one of us says, but at the end of the day we always always kiss and make up and everything's okay again. 

With you, I feel like I'm dating a man, not a boy anymore. With you, I feel like this is going somewhere. With you, I feel like we're able to achieve our life goals together. With you, I know I'll never go to bed upset or roll around in bed thinking about our fights. With you, I know my feelings are safe and not toyed around with. With you, I know I'll always have a morning essay to wake up to. With you, I feel euphoric and ethereal. With you, I feel so much more than joy. 

Happy 1 Year, B1. Here's to many more years of annoying each other. 

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