2:47 AM

A few things have happened and I've learned so many lessons throughout this. Well, it seems like people will always have something to say about you one way or another. I'm sure even Mother Theresa got hate from taking care of the poor. Some people just thrive on drama. They stalk you, and they're just waiting for you to say something wrong. Then they attack you. And this is the time when you know who your true friends are and who reveals their true colors.

When I was in my mid-teens (15, 16 years old), I used to have such a wide social life, mainly due to the rise of Facebook and Twitter. It's baffling how amazing tools that are used to connect the whole world can be used to build one another up through empowering messages and tear each other down. I used to go out with different groups of 'friends' every week. Everyone was my 'friend'. We would go to social events, go to malls together, parties, drinking... and we had such good times, but now I realize that they're just acquaintances that either i) don't matter or ii) just want something from you or to have a fun time. I have always been tweeting my opinion and that's how people I don't know followed me. Maybe they liked my tweets or found it relevant or what, who knows? It's pathetic now that I think back on it, how every 'retweet' and 'favorite' made me feel 'influential', like people actually heard and agreed with what I had to say. Since when did we let social media determine how important we are? Since when did we let social media define our status and self worth? Since when did we let it determine how much weight we carry as a person in this world? When did we let 140 characters dictate how other people view us? When did we let our tweets become something that would build our confidence up and tear us down? People just LOVE to bash on Twitter. They feel powerful when they direct their comments directly to someone where and when they can see it. They feel accomplished when they get favorites for those hurtful tweets. When did Twitter become an outlet for you to attack someone so openly?

People think they know you. They think they know what you do everyday, they think they know the person you are from the 5 tweets you tweet each day and from the photos you post once every few weeks. They think they know you like cupcakes just because you post photos of them. They don't actually know that you only like the aesthetics of the cupcakes and how pretty they look, and that you actually love celery instead. They think you're a hardcore clubber just because you post photos of fun nights out but you don't tweet or post photos of you studying. They think your relationship with your boyfriend isn't good just because you hardly post photos or tweet. Or they think that you're obsessed with your boyfriend and publicizing your love life just because you do. What do they know, really? They don't know what college you're from, what course you're doing. They don't know your birthday, or what movie brings back memories from your childhood. They don't know what your late grandmother said to you that still lingers in the back of your mind, or how you got your first heartbreak. They don't know how your boyfriend asked you to be his, or if you have 3 moles on your face. They don't know if you can sleep through everything, or have sleeping problems and wake up at 3am every night. They think they know everything about you but really, they don't even know your full name.

I never understood people who would send hate directly. I don't understand people who comment 'slut', 'whore', 'fat legs', 'fat', 'anorexic', 'ugly' on people's PHOTOS where they can actually see them. They seem to have forgotten that these photos belong to actual people who are reading your comments right there and then and trying to stay strong. I feel like celebrities are such strong people because they constantly get hate on their photos and yet they choose to be the better person and not do anything about it. They seem to have forgotten that these are real people too. They don't care if you feel like crying, they don't care if you might cut yourself, they don't care if you're already suffering from anxiety and depression or not, they just care about how superior they feel by putting you down and insulting you to your face. I've received so much hate about my body which I'm continuously trying to improve, people saying my body is ugly or I'm fat. Trust me, it isn't nice, and I wouldn't do this to anyone.

People say I judge, along with a hurtful statement. So who's being the judgemental one now? Who hasn't judged anyone before? You think I'm the one at fault but really, you're no better than me either. People say I'm 'fake', but I don't hide anything and I feel like I'm as real as real gets. People say I'm 'mean' and 'rude' to haters, but how can you smile and be nice to people who are out to hurt you? Maybe I should feel flattered at the fact that someone out there has all my social media account pages hooked up onto multiple computer screens, like those stock brokers hahaha. The thought that someone is so free to scrutinize and decipher everything I say and then send me hate is amusing.

You know what makes me different from you? If I hated the shit out of you, if I had every single nitty gritty juicy gossip about you, if I could tweet all the notorious things I've ever heard about you or how you treated me super obviously and directly (which I do and I can), I still wouldn't and I won't. There's no point in putting down someone who used to be your friend/is your acquaintance. I don't get why some people get so much thrill in doing so. I'm just going to continue being nice and being the better person while you can remain there being bitter and sour. Kill them with kindness.

My Twitter has always been my space to voice out my thoughts and opinion. Throughout my teenage life (before now), I never really had anyone to express my thoughts to and that's why I took to Twitter. My opinions are solely and completely my own, and if you can't accept that and have to criticize me for having thoughts that differ from yours, then you should GTFO and hit the "unfollow" button, it's literally as simple as that. I'm sorry if anything I tweet offends you but not everything in life is meant to please you right? Just keeping it real here yo. If people can't handle me tweeting about things that I find that I need to voice my opinion on, then they shouldn't be following me, not continuously sending me hate and harping on my tweets. The problem with people nowadays: if someone tweets something that differs from what you think, they immediately want to start a war. World War I and II have long gone but everyone seems to be fighting the 3rd among each other. 

And as for friends, I've learned that those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter. I've learned that my true friends will always have my back, and give me positive words when I need to hear them. Maybe that's why my social circle has been narrowing a lot and I only keep to a few select people who are worth my time. I've been 'friends' with all those other people but then they turn around and favorite hate tweets directed to me, which brings me back to my first point. I know who my real friends are, and who really matters, and I know they'll never ask me to "post a photo" of me being somewhere or doing something or else "I didn't do it". I have so many 'friends', but really only less than 10 I can really count on. There's no point in having so many friends anyway, I've learned. None of them are gonna help you when you screw up anyway. And that's enough for me. I've learned to focus on those who love me rather than pay attention to those who don't.

"A tiger does not lose sleep over the opinion of sheep."

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  1. I see where you're coming from here, I (as well as anybody else) would be hurt and angry if a mere tweet could garner that much hate and anger. But it should also be a stepping stone in helping you realize that social media is very much a dangerous place. Yes, it is your own opinion and yes it is NOT a place that measures your self-worth but we are only human and as much as we tell ourselves that, we are as prone to it as anyone else. Turn to God in all things that you do and trust in him.

    Easier said than done I know, but I felt like I had to say this :) I hope I didn't come out too strongly though..

    God bless don't stress!

    1. Thank you for your comment :) Continue being a blessing to people around you! God bless you too x

  2. I dont usually comment in people's blog but..I really think that you're contradicting yourself. I was a follower of your twitter account until I saw you posting things that are rather offensive, at least to me coz obviously its not to you or you wouldnt have posted it. Remember you had a name list sort of thing and you took many pics of different names of people and publicly laughed at their names? Can you tell me thats not a type of 'judging' and 'attack'? If I am not wrong, one of them is a woman's name Siew Yoke and you laughed at the name coz it sounded like the pork. It may be funny to you but what about the woman herself,or people with that name? Just because youre not hurt doesn't mean people are not. I can tell you you're fat, you may be hurt but i am not bcoz i am not fat. it works that way right? Just saying, if you dont want people to judge you, then dont judge other people. Im sure you know how things work. Things are not all unfair.

    1. I think you're taking my tweets and things too seriously. I'm sure you've laughed at someone's name before. Doesn't mean I'm insulting them, just means I think it's funny. People have laughed at my name before and called me Camel, Camera, Caramel and stuff but I don't take it to heart because it is quite funny. I'm generally a pretty light hearted person and I don't take it too seriously unless it affects me a lot. Sorry if I've offended you but my twitter is not meant to be like a public icon for people to judge & scrutinize :) It's just a fun place for me to socialize and express my feelings


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